The Positive Power of Privilege
Privilege has recently garnered much attention, my book, Her Allies, describes the term as ‘a set of unearned benefits and advantages assigned to people within a specific social group.’ It takes significant self-reflection and scrutiny to determine how we may have an unfair advantage over others. For example, when we discuss the ‘feminisation of poverty,’ we rarely consider its other side—the ‘masculinisation of wealth.
Being a privileged group member does not mean you never struggled; it simply means you haven’t faced the same impediments that the non-privileged may have encountered. Neither does being privileged mean that you should have all the answers, you must know everything, or you cannot make any mistakes. But what it does mean is that you need to be honest with yourself and be able to acknowledge and reassess the advantages you have been handed over merely because of your affinity to a specific identity. You must also be mindful of others lacking that privilege or in less powerful positions and leverage your status to support them authentically and meaningfully. Here are five ways to use your privilege for the good of all.
Listen with humility
Active listening involves making a conscious effort to hear and understand the message while being aware of the non-verbal aspects of the conversation. When you ask questions intending to improve, chances are there will be unexpected feedback involved, which could be awkward or unpleasant. Humans are wired to react when attacked but don’t resist that urge. Do not dismiss, create positive spin, get defensive or make excuses. When opinions vary, emotions can run high, but it is the perfect time to refocus your brain and find your bearings. Approaching any conversation with this kind of open mind will lessen the sting. And when do you commit mistakes? What matters most is admitting your mistake and learning from it. The best allies are not afraid to make mistakes because their intentions are genuine. An apathetic person is dismissive and will not typically engage, so if someone offers you feedback, it’s because they care. If you are open to being challenged, also be willing to apologise.
Self-Question Bias
We all naturally tend to judge and form internal biases, but we can unlearn harmful tendencies and behaviours. You may often not be aware that you are acting/reacting in a certain way. Therefore, it’s crucial to identify and keep your triggers in check. Ask yourself if any precipitating factors are clouding your judgment. If you are already frustrated or have had a bad experience with a specific person or the group they represent, that triggered response can make you angry much faster. Are you walking along any historical or emotional tracks and unable to view a situation dispassionately? You can also self-question yourself to distance yourself from debilitating biases and enable you to view situations objectively. Examples include: Is this belief/assumption always valid? Am I making assumptions based on gender, race, sexual orientation, faith, age, or ability? Is my belief based on limited and incomplete knowledge? What other factors do I need to consider? How else might I view this situation? What am I not seeing or acknowledging?
This self-scrutiny can subvert each bias by testing its validity through a belief audit that allows you to identify holes in your thinking. You can’t control what people around you will think and say, but you can manage your reaction and avoid negativity.
Engage With Others Outside Your Circle
Find ways to prevent colleagues from feeling isolated. Identify common bonds you share. When there are fewer people from any group in a meeting or boardroom, they are often considered outsiders. To overcome this barrier, bridging the gap and identifying shared interests is critical. Could you get to know them as people? In her TED Talk: How to Overcome Our Biases, Walk Boldly Towards Them, Vernā Myers notes that our biases are the stories we tell about people before we know who they are. But how will we know who they are if we are afraid of them and avoid them? So, she encourages us to walk towards our discomfort, take inventory, and expand our social and professional circles. Especially reach out to people missing from your circle and try to know them personally.
Sometimes micro-aggressions occur because we are unaware of them. As an ally, the last thing you want to do is deliver unintended slights or micro-aggressions because you are uninformed about what inappropriate communication sounds like. The more people you meet that are different from you, the more conversant you will be with different cultures and backgrounds, thereby ensuring a better chance of overcoming bias, especially affinity bias and developing cultural/ gender humility and savviness.
Sponsor
It is not fun being the only type in the room, whether it is due to gender, faith, ethnicity or another characteristic; the experience can be isolating. Instead of feeling ashamed or guilty because you are privileged, use your privilege to advocate for undermined colleagues who deserve recognition for their accomplishments. You can also help them gain perspective and broker connections they need to take on more prominent roles and advance their careers by providing them with the insider, cultural knowledge. You can also amplify their voices in situations where there are being talked over, or their ideas usurped. If you are well-positioned or networked, you can support underestimated groups by creating visibility for them, supporting/nominating them for promotions, providing them with opportunities for professional development, and introducing them to essential stakeholders and networks.When you launch them into more significant opportunities, challenge, encourage and push, building their confidence even if the scope of work is not within their current purview, especially when sponsoring women.
Call Out Inappropriate Behaviour
Research by American scientists Latané and Darley shows that the larger the room and the crowd, the more likely there will be diffusion of responsibility. People believe it is better to mind their business, keep their heads down, avoid conflict and maintain political correctness.
However, it’s necessary to challenge violators because sometimes others do not realise their behaviour is inappropriate until someone points it out; when someone from their own circle does the ‘pointing,’ it also carries more weight. Don’t hesitate to identify issues and raise awareness in respectful ways. Be tactful whenever possible, but your willingness to intervene could lead to a transformative change in the workplace. According to Samantha Rennie, Former Executive Director at Rosa, ‘People must be held accountable for their thoughts and their actions, so when you see acts of sexism, racism, xenophobia, ableism, Islamophobia, or anything else, call it out!’
Failing to publicly call out an incident damages workplace culture because it is a tacit endorsement of inappropriate behaviour. Why wouldn’t the pattern continue if no one identified a problem? Moreover, to reiterate, others take note when privileged members speak up in defence of the non-privileged. As an ally, you must support respectful and inclusive behaviour that fosters a healthy work culture. As Martin Luther King Jr. rightly said, ‘In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.’
This article was written by Hira Ali and was originally published by Jenny Garrett OBE on her website, here.
Hira Ali is a leadership development specialist, executive career coach, and acclaimed writer and speaker, she has been committed to helping others achieve their inherent potential throughout her award-winning career. Her work has been published in The Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Telegraph, B.B.C., Harper’s Bazaar, Independent, C.B.C., Huff Post, and Entrepreneur, among hundreds of other print, radio and television outlets, and has earned Hira several prestigious honours, titles and awards. She serves as The Senior Advisory Team member at The Benedictine University Illinois L.E.A.D.S. leadership program for undergraduate women and has joined W.L.G.’S Conversations with Men Advisory Council. In 2022, Hira was named one of the top 100 influential Muslims in the U.K.
Jenny Garrett OBE CInstLM FRSA is an Award Winning Executive Coach, Leadership Development Specialist, Keynote Speaker and Board Advisor specialising in gender balance, diversity, inclusion, belonging and leadership. Visit jennygarrett.global/ to find out how she can help support ethnic minority career progression.
Originally Released On 18 August 2024