How To Help Your Baby Sleep Better When You Are Returning To Work

I remember the feeling of returning to work after my maternity leave. It felt daunting. How would I cope leaving my little boy and adjusting to the new demands in my life? I struggled to find good quality, affordable childcare that I could trust and I worried about getting to work on time. I felt anxious and overwhelmed by the thought of it all. And with my second child the same feelings resurfaced. There was now even more juggling of work and family life. On top of this, there was the realisation that I would have to function effectively at work. And how would I manage this when my child was waking me up repeatedly at night and disrupting my sleep.

Whether you’ve recently started back at work or are planning to return, this guide aims to help you get your child into better sleeping habits. Once you have established a good sleep and bedtime routine, it will make the return to work so much easier and smoother. I’ve seen first-hand the difference this can make to parents and I hope this will also enable you to create a rested and thriving family.

1. Focus on bedtime

Creating an effective bedtime routine is critical as it can set your child up for a good night’s sleep. The key with any bedtime routine is to keep it consistent every night. Determine what time you can reasonably start once you get home from work. It does help, where possible, to stick with that timing every night. For example, if possible, keep the timings consistent on weekends or days when you are not working. Going to sleep at the same time every night is one of the best ways to improve sleep for babies and adults alike.

A bedtime routine should be calm and soothing, with a predictable order. This helps your child learn what to expect and that bedtime is approaching. Depending on your child’s age, the routine should ideally last around 30-40 minutes. It may include a warm bath, massaging in cream, brushing teeth, changing into pyjamas, having a milk feed, reading a story and gentle songs or lullabies. It is often best to avoid anything that might excite or encourage wakefulness such toys and games. Bedtime should be relaxing, so keep things as calm as possible and use it as an opportunity to bond.

2. Optimise the bedroom environment

During your child’s bedtime routine, it is best to discourage them from running around excitedly and instead keep them in one place – preferably in their bedroom. This will enable you to optimise their bedroom environment for sleep.

The first way to do this is by keeping their bedroom dimly lit during their routine and then dark once they go to sleep. Darkness triggers the sleep hormone melatonin which will make your child feel sleepy. You’ll want to avoid any bright lights and particularly blue lights from screens, phones or even baby lights and toys.

You should also consider the temperature of the bedroom – cool is better as your child’s body temperature is raised in the evening. Around 18-20°C is optimal for falling asleep.

3. Keep consistent

Whatever routine you formulate for bedtime, try to maintain some consistency and be mindful of falling into bad habits. Your child will inevitably form an association with the bedtime routine and falling asleep. For example, if you rock them to sleep at bedtime, as I did with my first child, it is likely that you will need to do this again each and every time they wake up at night.

4. Night feeds

Night feeding is common at 6 months and beyond – sometimes until 18 months. However, if you are going back to work, you will need to consider whether your child still genuinely needs their night feeds before deciding whether to reduce or cut them down.

We know that each child is different. For example, if your 1-year-old is a good eater and gets plenty of solids during the day, you may reasonably decide to cut down on night feeds. Don’t forget that if you are breast feeding, night feeds can be very comforting for your baby, particularly once you are back at work and they see less of you during the day. Many mothers who go back to work miss their child and therefore treasure the closeness of feeding and cuddling. So don’t deny yourself this precious time if it is important to you.

If you do decide to reduce or cut night feeds, there are a number of ways to go about it. However, the key principle is to avoid allowing your child to fall asleep on you whilst breast feeding or having their bottle. This will help break the association between feeding and sleeping.

5. Daytime routine

The daytime nap routine remains important even if you are no longer with your child during the day. Speak to their nursery, childminder or nanny and agree a routine that you are comfortable with. Nurseries and childminders will expect all their children to nap at similar times. So, there will need to be some flexibility on your part. However, you should ensure that your child isn’t sleeping too late into the afternoon as this can disrupt their bedtime. I would also recommend that you (or any family members who are caring for your child) maintain a similar routine on all other days including weekends. Children benefit from consistency and predictability that follow their natural daily rhythms.

6. Separation anxiety and sleep regressions

The return to the office can be a difficult time for your child as well as for you. It often happens at a time when a child naturally develops separation anxiety making it a doubly hard transition. Separation anxiety is common at different ages, including 8/9 months, 1 year or 18 months. It is important to expect separation anxiety when you return to work and to understand that this is a normal part of your child’s development. It can feel heart wrenching to leave your child when they are crying frantically and reaching out for you to stay. But given time, and once they develop a strong bond with their new carer, this should improve significantly.

Separation anxiety can also trigger a sleep regression. A sleep regression is when your child’s sleep habits suddenly deteriorate. For instance, they may struggle to settle at night, start waking during the night or rising early in the morning. This can be incredibly frustrating for parents going back to work and who’s child has had an established sleep routine that had been working well. However, sleep regressions come and go, and generally do not last longer than 3-6 weeks. The best you can do is to be as patient as you can and continue with a consistent method at bedtime and during any nighttime wake ups. It is important that you avoid getting into bad habits or allow your child to develop unhelpful sleep associations. Once habits develop, they can be difficult to break.

7. Some final words of advice

Sleep is necessary for both parent and child. Of course, it’s all the more important when you get back to work and you need to be fully focused on your job. Putting in place a good sleeping routine for your family is one of the most important things you can do. In the long run, it will help de-stress evenings and nights and enable you and your entire family to sleep better.

There is no doubt that the transition back into the workplace is never straightforward and can give rise to worry and doubt. “Letting go” of your child in order to go back to work is sometimes harder than you think. Whilst you’ve been at home, and you have been their primary carer, you have been in complete control. Putting childcare arrangements in place is never easy and there may be some bumps along the way.

Whatever plans you put into place, it really helps to keep to a consistent routine. Babies and children like stability and predictability. They like to know where they stand and a good predictable routine will give them a sense of security and contentment. Following some or all of my suggestions can make a significant difference to your child’s sleep. And with good sleep comes happier children and happy parents.

This article is written by Joanna Shtrosberg, a certified holistic paediatric sleep consultant and founder of Sleep Superstars. Having previously pursued a legal career in the City and in Government, she struggled with her own children’s sleep whilst juggling her career. Her personal experience of expensive sleep consultants made her question whether there was a better way to give parents sleep advice for their children that was affordable, detailed and instantly available.

Sleep Superstars provides sleep welfare packages that are tailored to your child, including your own sleep plan and resource pack. Joanna also writes a regular blog on her website on various topics related to baby sleep.