Eight Ways to Support your Mental Health as a Parent
During May you may have noticed that conversations around mental health have increased. With the awareness weeks for Maternal Mental Health and Mental Health nearly dovetailing each other, it’s not uncommon to find your socials filling in with conversations, education and support. However, as I have stressed many times before, this topic is something that needs to be considered 52 weeks of the year. What is clear to see is the power of sharing experiences; it takes a lot of the uncertainty and fear out of this topic and leads to better conversations with the people we care about. It will come as no surprise (I hope) that the connection between mental health and general well-being is a common area discussed within my coaching and the career well-being workshops I run. Today, I want to share with you eight ways to support your mental health as a parent.
This list is not exhaustive, and it is not in any order of importance. However, they are tried and tested, supported by science, personal experience and anecdotes. You can pick all of them to implement into your life, or just one; either way, I hope they help!
Find your glimmers
You may have heard of the practice of gratitude (which, btw actually rewires the brain to think more positively), but I want to share the concepts of glimmers. They are the small things you notice, that help us feel a sense of joy, calm, connection, peace and safety. It could be music, the sunshine, overhearing a nice conversation; the list is endless. The power of the glimmer is it can “tell” your nervous system you are safe, and identifying these has been found to reduce stress.
Understand and find your flow
Penned by the “Father” of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman, Flow is the state that you find yourself in when you lose track of time. You get absorbed in a task or experience and truly engage in the challenge whilst using your skills. When was the last time you felt this way? How can you create more of the experience in your life? When you notice what makes you feel this way, you can consider bringing these into your day-to-day life. Are you spending enough time in that part of your identity beyond parent, partner, peer or worker?
Remember the power of connection
Over the past four years, I have got far too comfortable with my own company. The safety, comfort and predictability of being at home meant I wasn’t proactively reaching out to see people. But I started to find that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy; the less I went out the less I wanted to. There is only a certain level of connection you can get from online interaction! Maybe you feel the same way too? I recently recalled the work of Dr Vivek Murthy, and the amazing psychological, emotional and connection benefits of being around people. So, I broke the bad habit that I had been forced to create and started reminding myself of the extravert that had been buried within. Who do you connect with the most; that makes you feel good, inspired, supported and connected? Make sure you make time for each other.
What movement works for you?
The theme for the 2024 Mental Health Awareness Week is “movement, moving more for our mental health.” I think the biggest decider for me that movement needs to be in the every day, beyond the physical benefits that we ALL hear about, was the understanding of how movement links to our nervous system. Whilst movement is fantastic for physical health, one of the real powers of movement of the message it sends that can help regulate our emotions. Take a moment to remember the last time you felt down, overwhelmed, stressed or upset, and then you HAD to move. What impact did that have? I find it calms and, at times, helps me problem-solve. Now, there is no doubt that there are many reasons why we aren’t on a level playing field when it comes to exercise, and that is why I love this perspective of movement. After years of fighting against my identity of not being someone who exercises (stemming from childhood physical issues), I’ve come to realise I need to move in ways that I love. That for me is dancing (I am always happy to have a kitchen disco), walking and yoga. All of these movements can, at times tap into my “glimmers” in life too!
Manage your sensory needs
Just think about what is going on around you right now. What can you feel, see, touch, smell? Are you hungry or tired? What is the one element that you are finding soothing or distracting? From cluttered surfaces, strong smells, noisy companions and uncomfortable seating, all these things bombard us. Depending on how you receive them, they can add to your stress. So, what do you need to feel like you can be your most comfortable? If you haven’t even considered your environment in this way, then this blog is one to explore.
Notice your autonomy
How much do you feel in control of your time, and choices? When we think about what experts call the protective factors of mental health and wellbeing these areas are included as reducing the risk of developing issues. They also support the ability to recover. Life can feel very overwhelming, especially right now when decisions are being made at a local, national and global level that directly impact our well-being and those of the ones we love. So, I ask you to take a moment to consider what you can control. What elements of your life, however small, can you make decisions on?
Schedule in rest
How often do you prioritise rest and recuperation? Do you wear business as a badge of honour? Or feel value in what you don’t do, as well as what you do? This goes beyond the need for sleep and good nutrition but links back to some of the areas that I have mentioned here today. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you will see I have shared the concept of the seven types of rest before. I want you to revisit them, considering which elements you can control, and then bring them into your life to give your body and brain time to rest, reflect and then take action.
Identify your support network
This may be the hardest one to action but is probably the most important. There is only so much we can do, as an individual, to support ourselves. There are times when our mental health dips, and we start to see our early warning signs. This is the time to reach out and ask for help. It may be through a professional, a close friend, a network or even online with people who have shared similar experiences. Either way, consider before it becomes essential, who and what you will need to help you work through. When people think about hard times, we assume that we must work through them on our own. Yet, time and time again we see the most resilient people are the ones who connect with other people and show self-compassion.
This article was written by Clara Wilcox, Coach, The Balance Collective and was originally published here.
Clara is a straight talking, practical and experienced coach helping clients navigate the tricky waters of returning to work, career changes and professional development. The Balance Collective has a social mission, focused on improving the lives of parents, by working together to build inner confidence and promote a healthy work/life balance.
Clara Wilcox I Return To Work and Career Coach for Parents | LinkedIn
Originally Released On 20 June 2024