CALM Advice if You Are Worried About Someone
Would you know what to do if someone told you they were contemplating suicide? Are you concerned about a friend or colleague who you suspect is suffering from deep depression?
Yesterday was Blue Monday - officially the most depressing day of the year. But sadly for some people, this might be just one day out of a seemingly endless run of bleak days. And suicide is a topic that most people feel uncomfortable mentioning or talking about, making it even more difficult for someone to open up about how they are feeling. We’ve asked the charity CALM, the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for advice when the future seems hopeless.
Why is suicide more prevalent among men than women?
It’s a shocking statistic that male suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the UK. How many people does that affect? Well, in 2015, of the 6,117 suicides in the UK 75%, or 4618, were male. As well as the tragic loss of a life, suicide has a devastating effect on the people left behind, both family, friends and whole communities.
Many men feel forced to stoically "man up” – whatever that means – and grind through bad times without societal permission to open up or seek help, they feel a pressure to appear in control of themselves and their lives and are ashamed at showing any sign of weakness.
The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is dedicated to preventing male suicide, the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the UK.
Their research shows males are less likely than females to tell someone about going through depression. The result? Men are three times more likely than women to take their own lives, and 12 men on average die by suicide every day.
What are common factors or warning signs to watch out for?
Feeling suicidal is fairly common and for most it is a passing feeling as long as those feelings do not go on for too long or become overwhelming. It’s hard to generalise but many people who think about taking their own lives might experience some of the following:
- A major loss, trauma or setback in their life.
- Known someone close to them who has attempted or died by suicide.
- A lack of sleep.
- A change in behaviour.
- Using drugs or drinking heavily.
- Bullying or rejection, especially prolonged, resulting in feeling low and worthless.
- Mood swings.
- Any combination of these things.
Are you worried about someone you know?
Want to help a mate that you’re worried about? Not sure what to look out for? You might sense he (or she) is struggling, but what do you say? Follow these five steps to help your mates in all sorts of situations (and watch the Five Steps video here)
CALM advises:
1. ASK. Encourage them to open up. Don’t be afraid to use the word suicide.
2. LISTEN. Listen without judgement.
3. MAKE A PLAN. Create structure, set simple goals. If they’re suicidal, stay with them and call 999.
4. BUILD A SUPPORT SQUAD. Call in family and friends. Share details of CALM and Samaritans.
5. KEEP CHECKING IN. Don’t stop once your mate feels better. Nothing beats regular meet ups (and hugs).
Talk to CALM. Their free, anonymous and confidential helpline and webchat are open every single day, 5pm – midnight.
CALM take a two-fold approach to changing and saving lives:
- Providing support for men who are down or in crisis, and
- Campaigning for culture change to tackle outdated stereotypes of masculinity that often prevent men seeking help.
If you want to talk to CALM they have a free helpline 0800 585858 and webchat (5pm – midnight daily), which are accredited, anonymous and staffed by trained professionals. CALM’s helpline workers are there to listen, not to judge, have links with other helpful organisations and could offer you the support you need to stop feeling suicidal. Although CALM is targeted at men, they offer help, information and support to anyone calling within the UK, regardless of age, gender or geographic location; no one is turned away.
More advice for employers?
We are looking forward to welcoming Simon Gunning, CEO of CALM, at our Cityworks roundtable meeting for employers in May where we’ll be discussing and sharing best practice in encouraging disclosure about mental ill health in the workplace.
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Founded in 2006, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is an award-winning charity dedicated to preventing male suicide. For more information visit www.theCALMzone.net.
CALM’s helpline & webchat are open daily 5pm – midnight
Free helpline (open every day 5pm – midnight): 0800 585858
Webchat (open every day 5pm – midnight): https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-help/
Worried about someone? https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/worried-about-someone/
Originally Released On 15 January 2018