Across the City: Perspectives from two fathers

The constant challenge to balance work and home commitments can weigh even more heavily with the arrival of a new baby or when your child is diagnosed with a serious illness.

The introduction of more family-friendly policies such as the universal right to ask for flexible working and Shared Parental Leave are helping to making a difference for some fathers. However taking advantage of these policies still doesn’t feel ‘the norm’ for many men working in the City.

So with the aim of encouraging more dialogue around these issues, we’ve invited two fathers working in City professions to share their stories. Matt took Shared Parental Leave when his second daughter was born, and Daren combines his City role with looking after his sick daughter. Here they talk candidly about their experiences and the support they’ve received from their employer.

**********

Matt Ryan is a Senior Manager at Accenture, the global management consultancy, working in their UKI Capital Markets practice and a father to two young daughters.

Tell us about your family …

My wife works as a management consultant for one of the Big 4. We have 2 daughters aged 3 and 10 months.

What made you consider taking Shared Parental Leave (SPL)?

Accenture has a very progressive SPL policy and we realised it was a one-off opportunity for me to spend extra time with my family and ease the transition from one to two children. It was also good timing from a work perspective because I had just come to the end of a multi-year role and wasn’t committed to a specific project or client.

Did you know many other colleagues or clients who had taken SPL?

No, at that point I wasn’t aware of anyone from my part of the business that had taken SPL. However I had spoken to senior colleagues – other men in my team - who had taken a leave of absence when their children were born (i.e. before SPL was introduced) and they highly recommended it to me. 150 employees at Accenture have now taken advantage of SPL so it is becoming increasingly popular as people learn more about it and hear about the positive experiences others have had.

Did you (and your wife) have any concerns about taking SPL? If so what were these?

I had some minor concerns about whether it would impact my career prospects, but given my situation at that point (I was not approaching an imminent promotion point) and with me only planning to take 3 months, this did not play heavily on my mind. My wife was worried about the impact to her maternity leave as it effectively reduced the amount of time she was able to take off but her work have been supportive of further unpaid leave to enable her to take the time she wanted.

How did you take your SP leave and what pay entitlements did your employer offer?

I took 14 weeks in total (continuous) made up of 2 weeks “normal” paternity leave and a further 12 weeks SPL directly afterwards. This was all at full pay.

How did you find the experience of sharing leave?

I really enjoyed being able to take leave at the same time as my wife, and I know she really appreciated the support directly after the birth. It was great being able to spend quality time as a family without either of us having any of the stresses of work. And because it was our second child, it meant we were able to focus some attention on our eldest daughter to help her cope with the new arrival. We wanted to make the most of the time together so we made a list of fun family activities that we worked our way through over the summer and we both look back on the time as a really positive experience.

How did you find your return to work?

Returning to work at the end of August meant that things were fairly quiet on the ground and thankfully I did not get assigned to a full-on client-based role immediately. This definitely worked in my favour and helped me to get back into the swing of things over the course of a few weeks and helped my wife adjust to me not being around as much. My management team were also very supportive of this and aware of my situation.

What advice would you give to other fathers/prospective fathers thinking about taking SPL?

Go for it. You’ll never get that time again and it’s a great opportunity to spend time with your newly-enlarged family and get a well-deserved break from work.

**********

Daren Cheverton works at RBS as an MD within the Operational Risk function and has a young daughter with a major illness.

Could you tell us about your daughter?

Beatrice is ten years old, she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and coeliac disease three years ago. She has a strict gluten free diet and has progressed from multiple daily insulin injections to being on an insulin pump which gives her more freedom and flexibility. She tests her blood sugar levels about 12-15 times per day and has to carb count every meal she has.

What has been the impact of your daughter’s illness on you and your family?

Very significant - it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, trying to manage her levels is very challenging and sometimes things happen that are totally out of our control. Managing the condition whilst she is at school and on play dates is a continual challenge. Our biggest challenge is probably trying to make Bea’s life as normal as possible and not letting her condition define who she is.

How has your employer reacted to your home life situation?

They have been very supportive allowing me to take time necessary to help care for Bea or support my wife when things have not gone well.

What support or changes have you asked your employer for to help you manage your parenting and caring commitments alongside your work?

My company have supported me when I have needed to take time off to be with Bea in hospital and have supported me in flexible working arrangements; I now work from home 2 days a week.

What other support is available within your organisation and how has this helped, if it has?

I have been fortunate to have an extremely supportive line manager. I have also joined our Family & Carers network and our family are well supported by our local NHS diabetes support team as well as the charity JDRF (Junior Diabetes Research Foundation).

How can colleagues best support someone who is parenting a sick child or who has received a recent diagnosis of this kind?

I have shared my experiences with my direct colleagues and more widely through the Family and Carers network, ensuring people are aware of the network and RBS’s membership of WorkLife Central. I believe in sharing experiences and increasing awareness of type 1 diabetes – so much tabloid reporting focuses on diabetes as a lifestyle condition which type 1 certainly isn’t.

How has your experience changed your perspective on work and home life?

To put my family first; my firm supportive of that and recognise my contribution to the firm needn’t be impacted by changes that have been made to my working arrangements in order to better support my wife and Bea.

********

If you’d like to get in touch with Matt or Daren, please email us at newsletter@WORKLIFECENTRAL.COM and we’ll forward your message.