Ruban's blog: New Tears Resolution

Hello and Happy New Year to you all!!! This is my first blog entry this year so I feel like it could be deemed appropriate to wish everyone in mid-March but then again, it feels uncomfortable saying it in the third week of January so perhaps not.

Despite us hurtling into an egg-shaped choc-o-mania in a couple of weeks time, I have been reflecting on the opening quarter of the year and dwelling on the 'resolutions' I vowed I would carry out following the annual MOT on my life that society has convinced me to do around that time of year. Roughly around the same time I am having a nervous breakdown during Christmas (cue plug for previous blog entry titled 'Holidays are Coming'). I'm not sure why we need to crank the pressure gauge of self-improvement during the dying embers of one year and the beginning of the next, but it seems a good a time as any and so I began to sift through my finer points and foibles. Being a 'glass half empty' kind of chap, the list of foibles heavily outweighed the finer points.

Part of my ambition for this year was to write more. I have been writing for WorkLife Central since 2021 and it has been a wonderful outlet for self-reflection during life's ups and downs, as well as tapping into my love of writing. I stepped down from a regular slot to give others a chance and to use the time to increase my writing output, pursue new audiences, and set off on a life mission to change the occupation on my LinkedIn profile for the first time since I created it back in 2010's. Have I used that time to write the great British novel? Negative. Have I used the time to start a new holistic lifestyle blog that requires me to travel extensively and report on the newest wellbeing initiatives around whilst secretly using the time to tick off a list of football stadiums I've never visited? Absolutely not. Instead, I have been using my skills this year to write birthday and Mother's Day cards on behalf of myself, and through the eyes of my two children, aged 6 and 4. It takes a very niche kind of skill to write as if you were a child of those ages, preventing my penchant to for long sentences and excessive punctuation. I started to question what kind of writer does not write? Could I be 'burnt out' after writing 8 blogs over the span of 3 years?!

Another one of my burning desires, as with a lot of the world around that time of year, was to continue building upon my fitness journey. I started well, having resumed jogging alongside my weekly game of football and high intensity workout class. With my new bright orange running shoes and my stock higher than ever on the football field, I was well on the way to Mr Motivator levels of fitness. This came crashing down to earth after receiving a knee injury whilst playing football which has ruled me out of action for 2 months and another big cross against achieving one of those 'resolutions'.

I reflect on the last 3 months and do feel sad at the lack of progress I have made on those personal goals, often questioning my own motivation, desire, and passion. Often this questioning is done without consideration of some of the reasons why I haven't been able to and am left with an overly critical viewpoint of my failings. 'Resolutions' have always been cast as making a positive change to something in your life, which is true. However, does a 'resolution' always need to be solving a problem? Could it be that we are setting ourselves up for failure when we look at it in such a binary way of pass and fail that is assessed from the starter pistol of January the 1st?

Perhaps if we were to look at it as a 'journey' and one that is not linear, but a path that sees ups and downs, could we support ourselves better and use it as opportunities for growth and progress. Probably. If Liz Truss can convince people that she isn't a failed AI experiment, then I am sure we can convince ourselves that we are not failures, and to keep going with our goals.

So, if a better lifestyle was one of your resolutions this year, don't feel bad as you tuck into your third Cadbury's Crème Egg in the coming weeks. #We're gonna get there in the end….#

Ruban is a husband to one amazing wife, father to two wonderful young boys, and a willing slave to all three. When he is not dancing around with a child on his shoulders or ferrying them around on piggyback, he can be seen attempting to kick footballs, save worlds on his Playstation and occasionally audit some things for a lucky City insurance firm.

Tags:
• Wellbeing