Jon's blog: Not Quite What I Had In Mind

In my last blog, I mentioned that I was wrapping up at my current law firm for pastures new.  However, and before I could start the new job I ended up in hospital and – long story short – received a serious cancer diagnosis.  So I have yet to start my new role as I needed an operation, and then some fairly gruelling chemotherapy.  As I write I’ve not had the scan to see what the chemotherapy has done to the cancer, but the clinical signs are promising that it’s doing something useful, and my new workplace are being amazingly understanding and supportive.

I’ll be honest, I had no idea that there was anything that wrong with me.  The doctors quizzed me quite a lot at first about symptoms, but there just weren’t really any until it got bad enough to require a hospital trip.  Once I was in hospital, though, I was so impressed with all of the NHS staff who work there – the nurses, doctors and consultants were all (and still are!) completely amazing.

It’s been a pretty brutal blow from left-field, to go from feeling fine to having this diagnosis.  It’s taking time to adjust and process what’s going on, and it’s having a huge impact on us as a family, as well as on our wider family and friends.  It’s hard as well to accept that I can’t do as much as I used to at the moment, as the chemotherapy is absolutely exhausting (although mercifully free of major side-effects).  The whole thing is also very emotionally tiring, as it’s such a difficult situation.  My wife is being truly amazing, and I couldn’t do it without her.

It’s also been overwhelming to see all of the support that we’ve received, and are receiving.  Our church have been taking it in turns to make meals for us as well as praying, and school and church have also been amazing in helping to care for our boys pastorally as they go through this.  It’s been incredible to receive so much care from our family and friends and community at such a difficult time.

Speaking personally, my Christian faith has also been a real lifeline in the midst of this painful storm.  I don’t have any clever answers about why this is happening or what will happen next.  Nevertheless, I take a lot of comfort from knowing that we walk this very difficult path with God, and not alone.  The support of our church has been incredible, and we’ve seen many instances of provision for us to help us on this journey so far.

And I’m conscious that it is a journey, on which I’m still at quite an early stage.  The uncertainty of not knowing exactly what to expect can feel daunting, but we’ve come this far.  I’m gradually learning to try and focus on putting one foot in front of the other, asking for my “daily bread”, and appreciating each day that I have with those I love.

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• Families