Claire's blog

' "You don't spend enough time with your children!" said my mother during a heated debate following Sunday lunch and a few emotion-raising glasses of wine. These words hurt. Cut like a knife. The guilt descended and in that split second I doubted everything that I had worked hard for, my values, my aspirations, my whole being. Been there? On return from maternity this feeling hit almost hourly. Guilt that is so debilitating that daily I was a cat's whisker away from resignation. But something deep inside pulled me back, may be it was a distant memory of that girl I once was who thought she could conquer the world; memories of dark despairing days at home with a tantruming toddler and an overtired infant; or a deep-rooted fear of what I would become when children have fled the nest and the woman in the mirror it no longer recognisable - but it doesn't matter what was is. It is who I am. The last year has been a journey, and with the support of groups like Citymothers, friends and colleagues I at least know who I am. Yes we are mothers. but not only mothers. It is imortant that my children know and understand that. Returning home from work last night I watched my 2 and 3 year old role playing "going to work". I was immensely proud. Even at this tender age they have a work ethic and I am their role model. Mother, if you think I can't cope, help me, don't hinder me. "Why did you educate me if I was not to have a career?" I exclaim. "How will you explain this world to your daughter?" My mother asks. My answer is resolute. "I will not have to. That is  why I work so hard. Along with thousands of other trailblazing amazing women we are changing this world for our daughters. My daughter will be able to have family and a career and I will not criticise her, but support her and be proud of her and society will accept this without question. Cherie Blair said it like it is: "Being a mother is not a job (it is not about hours put in); it is a relationship." Be the best mother that you can be, by being the best that you can be, and only you know what that entails. Go forth, let's conquer together.'

Claire is an Associate Director at a large City-based Bank working 4 days a week in a busy transaction team in the Structured Finance sector. She has two children under the age of 4 and relies heavily on nurseries and the aid of a good nanny.