Kim's blog: Reflections

It’s my second to last ever Primary school summer fair today which means its nearly the end of term and time for melancholy reflections on how much the children have grown up and changed since this time last year. The Facebook memories pop up of their residential photos last year and the last days of term linger, they can’t wait to break up and get to the beach.

This time last year my daughter was preparing to say goodbye to Year 6 and getting ready for Secondary school. (I still can’t listen to September Song that they sang at their leavers assembly!). I was terrified - she was excited. She’s absolutely aced it and loved her first year and it’s like she was never not there. Primary seems like a long time ago for her. 

But it’s the end of Year 5 for my son which means I only have this Summer Fair and the next before he starts Secondary school and then my Primary school days with the children will be finished, done for ever.  I can’t actually think about it and I won’t until next year but the thoughts creep in and leave me emotionally torn. Torn between wanting them to grow and fly and having given them the skills to do that, they are desperate to, and also desperately holding onto that last year of primary when they are closer to being babies.

You look back to Nursery and it really does feel like a lifetime ago and my Tuesday’s off with my son where we would pop to the library or walk to the shops an absolute age – time he still remembers and I’m so grateful for that, and for eventually being at a firm that allowed me to do that. But it wasn’t always like that. Today I was asked by a journalist what my experience of going back to work after maternity leave was like - and it made me realise how much my life has changed and how life does just keep evolving and how you have to keep looking forward.

I went back to work full time after both of my children – not through my own choice it was a ‘career or your kid’s choice'. I requested flexible working both times at the same firm – both denied – I requested every other Friday working at home but the firm I worked for (‘a work 20 hours a day or you are out trading floor culture firm’) was run by two joint CEO’s (let’s call them CeoSaurus) and they really had no time for pregnant women or flexible working, indeed they didn’t even have a policy at the time. They insisted I had to be in the office, couldn’t possibly do any of the job from home and dismissed my request as unworkable without giving it any thought and it culminated in what can only be described and is still to this day - the most intimidating meeting of my life (there was no HR department), where I ended up crying at the unfairness of it all. ‘Your career or your kids’ was the message I picked up loud and clear.

I would like to think that those two CeoSaurus’s were now very much in the minority as it was 10 years ago. A horrible time, and at the time I never imagined I would be able to move on from the experience, but you do, and you progress and opportunities come your way and you manage the juggle. I did eventually get that part time flexible working holy grail job after being made redundant from the CeoSaurus firm; working with a really great bank in the City that embraced flexible working and really cared for its employees, such a stark contrast.  So, the results of the WorkLife Central City-wide survey published this week that show that more firms are recognising flexible working is heartening it may be slow progress but at least it is progress in the right direction and there will be less of those CeoSaurus’s around in the future for when our children enter the world of work.

After 15 years in the city, Kim now works remotely in the countryside from home and enjoys the commute back to London when client work permits. She has two children 12½  and 10 and enjoys occasional bursts of creativity when she has free time and is making progress on that work-life balance. 

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• Families