Ellen's blog: Think before you buy a cute pet...

Around this time last year, whilst on a country walk with the children, I spotted one of those farms where they sell fresh eggs at the farm gate, via the use of an honesty box.

I approached the gate with the intention of buying some eggs, and explaining the concept of the ‘honesty-based transaction’ to the children, but as we got closer, my eldest son read out a sign next to the egg boxes “chicks for sale”.

For a number of reasons, I took temporary leave of my senses and said “aaaah chicks - shall we get some”? My husband nearly fainted with shock. Every parent will be familiar with the feeling of wishing you could un-say something, as the terrible realisation descends that not only have you just planted into your children’s minds a brilliant plan, but you have also handed them an additional bonus that it was mummy’s idea, thereby absolving them of any responsibility should the plan go wrong.

My husband tried to change the subject, as they screamed “we want some chickens! I want my own chicken! I want to call my chicken Jake! I would look after my chicken EVERY DAY” (and on and on it went).

After a pathetic attempt to distract them by going on a 2-hour walk before returning to the farm, I realised that I couldn’t get out of buying some chickens.

What I had failed to realise was that we would be subject to a rigorous suitability-assessment by the chicken breeder, to ascertain whether we were up to the job of chicken-ownership. This culminated in provision of our contact details for her to pass on to DEFRA for their records of avian-flu high-risk areas.

I had thought that buying a chicken without any preparation whatsoever could easily be remedied by a quick visit to Pets At Home on the way home, where I happened to know that they sell every conceivable pet product, including housing, feeding equipment, food, and medical supplies. However, I had not accounted for the fact that the adorably-cute fluffy little chicks being paraded in front of my children, actually required pretty much round-the-clock care, as part of a hand-rearing process, due to the fact that they cannot live outdoors (or even out of the reach of a heat-lamp) until they are several months old.

Terrified that they would freeze to death on the way home, we took our three pets directly home in a cardboard box which we wrapped in my husband’s coat, and strapped in with a seatbelt. I had to jump from a moving car outside Pets At Home in order to race in any buy some chicken-bedding and food, whilst my children were driven round the block in order to keep the car warm for the sake of the infant poultry. There was no need at that point to buy a chicken coop, because they had to live in our kitchen, in a large straw-filled clear plastic box, with a heat-lamp mounted on the top. We were advised to handle them daily, in order for them to become accustomed to human contact, so I used to watch TV with my chick on my knee, wrapped in a blanket, which was actually rather therapeutic.

On the proud day when our little chicks learned to fly, I came home to find my children and my chicks running amok around the kitchen, which was covered in chicken poo, as they had evidently honed the flying skills at some time early on in the school day, leaving themselves several hours to fly and poo indiscriminately and unsupervised.

After a few weeks the children predictably lost interest in the unglamorous aspect of chicken-care, and it has largely fallen to me to do the mucking-out of the chicken coop, feeding of chickens and early-morning collection of eggs. Many pairs of tights have perished on the chicken-wire as I have entered the chicken coup wearing a suit (having failed to allow sufficient time to accommodate both chicken maintenance and getting-dressed-for-work activities in the early-morning rush)

But it has not been all hard graft with no reward! For example, we get 2 FREE fresh eggs every day, with a commensurate saving on the weekly shopping bill. Amount spent so far on chicken housing, feeding, and maintenance approx £2,000. Amount saved on eggs approx £300. So we’re well on the road to cost neutrality.

So if you are thinking of following the current urban-farming trend of owning your own chickens, I would advise that you a) think very seriously about alternative first-pet options (for example hamster) or b) buy HENS, rather than chicks so that you avoid the intensive hand-rearing experience, and can guarantee the sex of you animals. (My chick “Suzie” is actually a cockerel), and that you can arrange holiday-pet-care by taking your pet to the pet-sitter, rather than requiring them to move into your house due to your chickens living in a completely immobile coup-chicken-run which takes up a large chunk of your suburban garden.

Ellen has worked in the City for 18 years, mainly in banking, and currently for an inter-dealer broker. She has two children aged 7 and 4, with an au pair at home to help out.

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• Families