James's blog: That Friday feeling...

It’s 8:30am on a Friday morning and I’m on my way into work having just dropped my daughter at school. I work a half day on Fridays in order to collect her from school as well. I say that I work a half day on Friday. In reality I will leave it until the latest possible time to leave the office, will work right up to the school gate and will then log on again in the evening and over the weekend in order to catch up.

My phone pings. My boss has just sent me an email saying that he needs me to work this afternoon. Quite often, when given a bit more of a ‘heads up’, I can make arrangements to accommodate. Last Friday, for example, I had to work because two people in our small team had taken holiday at the same time and so I was required to cover that. Luckily I had a week’s notice and was able to arrange alternative childcare.

This morning, however, I am struggling. There’s no after-school club this evening because the children are all being released after an assembly for parents (which I’m now resigned to missing). My wife is stuck at work. My parents and my wife’s parents live 250 miles and 100 miles away respectively and, having both been down recently to help with childcare over the Easter holidays, can’t travel down to help out.

So I have to pass on my apologies to work that I won’t be able to step in. I can tell that my boss is disgruntled about this. Nevertheless, I stay to help out for as long as I can. As a result, I’m late to collect my daughter and don’t have time to collect the car first, which means that we have to walk home from school in torrential rain. I feel like a terrible father and an equally bad employee.

I’ve accrued quite a bit of TOIL from having to work on my days off and promise my daughter that I will make it up to her by taking some time off during the school holidays. When I joined my employer and, within a couple of weeks, I was asked to work on my days off, it was agreed that I could choose either to claim back some time off or be paid for the additional work. Now that there is an accrued balance of TOIL, however, my employer is being difficult and ‘encouraging’ me to be paid rather than reclaim some time with my daughter. I am seeking a promotion and am told that my part-time arrangements and the taking of TOIL will likely have an effect on that.

I’ve got a decision to make: do I make a further sacrifice to my career or do I break a promise to my daughter? I kick myself for how long I’ve wasted deliberating over it and instead turn my attention to planning some time off during the next half term.

James and his wife are both lawyers in the City. Both work part time to try to juggle school pick ups for their young daughter.

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• Families