Natalie's blog

'So I'm 8 weeks into my new role working full time in the City.  Having spent the last few years of my career part time/ flexible working I was anxious as to how it would pan out. Well it's been a roller coaster of emotions. Essentially I've realised many things, some welcome, some not. I've realised that my children don't hate me for not taking them to and from school, I don't miss the shopping and my other half keeps the house tidier than I do! I've also realised that to do the job I currently have, I have to work full time, there would be no option for me to have 'that conversation with my boss' because the job is simply too demanding. Full time means more than 9-5, so part time would be full time, ergo no point. The conundrum for all full time working women. Having children is a full time job so what do I do with those responsibilities? I delegate. That sounds awful doesn't it but that's what men have done traditionally since time began but no one ever calls it that. For men its an assumption. But when a woman does it, it's delegation which makes it sound like I'm getting someone else to do something I don't want to do. Of course it's not. The crux is needing someone to delegate to.

A barrister friend of mine once said she wished she had a wife. She had a point. It's that support we need. By sheer luck I have it, no planning involved. But relying on luck isn't the best way. So, if I could talk to the 22 year old graduate me I would say this: 'in order to have children and work a successful career you are going to need support, ensure you have that conversation with your partner when you meet them'. Because this is what it comes down to. It's a cliche, it's said all the time, but it is true. When men have children it isn't even a consideration that it will effect their career, no one ever says to a man 'how will you cope?'. So we, us, those women who have learnt the hard way, owe it to the young ambitious women in our networks to tell them that. Sort your support network out, have that conversation with your partner, as Sheryl Sandberg says, pencil in some time to take your foot of the pedal a bit when your children are small but ultimately get that support. Now all we need is for there to be 50% of women in the boardrooms and in the government to sort affordable childcare out and those with sons to have that conversation with them about supporting their partners in their careers because, and this is the realisation which is unwelcome, if when my girls are that 22 year old graduate, they are still having to face these issues I may start to lose the faith and fear that there may be no end to this perpetual cycle we are currently in.'

Natalie is team manager at a law firm; she has been a lawyer for 10 years and is a mother to two girls aged 8 and 2. Passionate about both and enjoying the juggle that doing both brings.