Rosie's blog: Roots and wings

The inevitability of aging and one’s children doing the same is brought into focus at this time of year when my sons turn 11 and 13 respectively within 6 weeks of each other. How fast this time has passed! The early years seem to be a heartbeat away and yet with realistic reflection it was a decade ago that they were both so small and dependent. The boys now relish stories about the things they said and did as toddlers and we find the stories and photos amusing, in much the same way as my parents, siblings and I did when we were growing up. Before I turned 30 I remember my father saying that he hoped he had given his children roots and wings and this sentiment resonates with my intentions in the upbringing of my own children.

It may not be long before feelings of self-consciousness arise about their younger years; their silliness, the haircuts (might have looked like a girl at one point), the clothes (ditto) and the school photos. Having time to share and remember the experiences with a smile brings us close and I think allows a brief time to reflect with fondness on times past and cement future plans together (must make regular appointments with the barber).

Growing independence and a necessarily busier school life can impinge on the time available to spend together, making it all the more precious. This half term the eldest son is going on his first school ski trip and to be honest, I am nervous. Although I am usually calm and level-headed, my fear of potential mishap on this trip is considerable. From actually getting to the coach to the time the coach returns it will not be an easy week at home and both his younger brother and I will miss one of the corners of our family triangle. I know I have to manage my own feelings about it and I know that he and his friends will enjoy the holiday immensely. The stories, the bonds created with this group and the shared experience ushers in a new era where the peer group has greater influence. Giving him the opportunity to learn how to operate in these environments should develop a life skill (possibly), although I’ll accept that it’s a privileged position in which we find ourselves to be able to afford such a luxury and there’s probably no difficulty in embarking on this fun adventure for my son.

Selfishly, I’ll also miss the lack of time with him in the school holiday – it’s always good to (try to) take a day off in that week to spend with the boys. The children still enjoy each other’s company as well, which the younger boy will miss, although I will relish the time to indulge my youngest, before he embarks on the next stage of his life at senior school later this year. In both cases the boys will grow in that short week, I am sure; hopefully strengthening their roots and their wings for the great adventures to come.

Rosie is a partner in a City law firm with two sons aged 12 and 10. She is a single parent and works at her office in the City and at home.