Esther's Blog: Buses and breastmilk

“In my last blog I promised to address expressing milk in the workplace and enabling men to feel comfortable about being fathers. I will, but first want to share with you a recent incident.  A few weeks ago, I was hit by a bus and subsequently treated for concussion, spinal injury and a badly injured foot. I've since been at home, gradually mending. The last time I faced such a life-changing event was giving birth to my now 30 year old daughter. The total lack of control, the fear, the pain, even the gas were, unfortunately, all the same. And on both occasions I left the hospital a different person. This time, I came out not carrying my little baby but being driven home by her, and subsequently cared for brilliantly by her for two weeks. Why I'm sharing this is to acknowledge how we are, at the risk of sounding prosaic, all subject to life's randomness; nevertheless it is an intrinsic part of having children. My life has been temporarily changed, but having a child changes us forever. If we are lucky our child is well; but a sick child has massive implications for our life and whether we can carry on with our careers as planned. When I wrote my previous blog about wanting a career whether or not I had children, I knew it was not only luck and hard work but also my family's good health which allowed me to achieve my goals. How many parents are dealing bravely not just with standard childcare problems but the stress and time involved in looking after an ill or indeed disabled child? My world has shrunk now, but there will be a gradual return to normality. Not so for some. 

So back to expressing breast milk. I've heard some horror stories. Nowhere to express or store milk, babies brought into chambers and fed in the loos. I managed it for 9 months thanks to my thoughtful boss, a rickety fridge, and some freezer bags. There is no hint in any office I've been in of what nursing mothers do nowadays. Presumably it is dealt with in lowered tones between HR and "the mum". In a similar vein, when will men openly acknowledge going to school sports days, parents’ evenings, and picking up their children from school? I encouraged my junior male colleagues be open about their childcare responsibilities; it thrilled me when my junior partner emailed the group to say he was staying at home because the nanny was unwell. We need to normalise birth and childcare processes. We all entered the world the same way and needed caring for. I'd love to see the day when we celebrate, not stifle, references to it in the workplace.”

Esther worked for over 20 years in the City, having originally been an academic musician.  She was a lawyer first at Linklaters then Clifford Chance, where she led her own group within the Banking and Capital Markets for many years. Esther sits on the Citymothers Committee.