Rosie's blog: Spooky goings on

Just as we are about to reach the end of the first half term at school a watershed was breached. A rare moment of freedom allowed me to do the rugby run, picking up my son and three of his friends from an after-school club. This hardly ever happens, my car is not equipped with seven seats. Most of the time I am working; and when I am not working, my youngest would take up one of the precious seats in the car making it worse than useless to offer to take home four sweaty boys plus kit. That would be expecting the children to share the car in a manner not unlike the car sharing that took place in the seventies and eighties; but I am not sure it was quite as frowned upon then to load children into the boot of a Volvo (no seatbelts).

On the way home I am amused by the boys’ conversation. It ranges across every conceivable topic. I wonder if they ever manage to be quiet, as there is an endless stream of verbiage, laughter and sharing of video clips. The main topic of conversation concerned Hallowe’en. This “festival” has grown to Goliath proportions in the years since my childhood. My youngest merrily and secretly loads the weekend shopping basket with orange plastic (“This is good, Mummy”) and thoughts of the excitement of a bucket brimful of treats occupy the little one’s thoughts. For the older child – not even two full years older – the date is quite a different proposition.

First, within his group of friends (who by the way are all incredibly nice boys), the parents who are identified as the most lenient will be the destination for the watching of a “horror film” – at least a “15” certificate (the boys are 12/13). Second, the plan they appeared to hatch was to apprehend/frighten younger children in to handing over the well-earned treats of the evening. Being a witness to the boys’ plans makes me an accessory, doesn’t it? So this left me with a quandary. Both elements of the boys’ plans made me uncomfortable. Watching a film definitely not suitable for their age group (says the BBFC) is imperfect. I worry about the brutalisation of children from the unbelievable volume of images they view every day, but this is not limited to a single film. However, it was the idea of them ganging up on younger children that I really didn’t like. That they had plotted this, as presumably trick or treat is now too baby-ish for them, made me realise how they crave to be big boys but at the same time want the Hallowe’en treats. It has a Lord of the Flies element to it, which is a bit unpleasant too.

Not wishing to avoid the issue entirely but also avoiding the issue entirely, it is thankfully rugby night on Hallowe’en and of course immediately after rugby my dearest son is too hungry and usually too tired to do anything else. But I can’t expect the stars to always be in my favour. So I had to confront the idea that you can gang up on little children, it’s horrible and I didn’t recognise that my son would be part of that and wouldn’t stand up and say “You know what, that’s really mean”. So I went into his room the other evening and started the conversation hesitantly. Thankfully my normal sanguine child appeared to return, he said “oh Ma, we are not being serious . . . “. So this year perhaps the trick was on me.

Rosie is a partner in a City law firm with two sons aged 12 and 10. She is a single parent and works at her office in the City and at home.