Caroline's blog: Stars in their Eyes

Does anyone else’s life sometimes feel like an episode of Stars in their Eyes?  You wake in the morning and want to announce to the world: “Today, Matthew, I am going to be ...”, and you pause to remember what day of the week it is – a City professional blending anonymously into the crowds on the Northern line? A parent at the school gate anxiously trying to remember whether there’s a snack pot and golden time toy somewhere in the depths of each child’s book bag? A chauffeur between dance, football and enough class parties to put the life of a socialite to shame?

Perhaps that is especially true for me as I work part-time – with the support of a part-time nanny, after school clubs and various lift-share arrangements I work three days in the office and then two half days from home. On those days, I do the school run and am as involved in school life as I can reasonably be, before heading home to power through my work before school pick-up. I’m happy enough with this, but it does raise for me the question of how to maintain boundaries between work and family life.

I don’t think having a looser boundary between work and family life is a bad thing. After navigating South Mimms roundabout at rush hour with my tots in open warfare and the other two kids in the car offering me a blow by blow commentary on their antics, returning to a quiet house to delve into legislation and draft advice feels like refreshing light relief.  When it comes to the tots agreeing what TV programmes they want to watch after school, frankly I’d get more satisfaction and a better outcome negotiating an indemnity in a sale and purchase agreement as opposed to trying to referee their discussions.

It does seem, though, that the closer these identities sit, the greater the risk of them colliding. Who else felt bemused shock last week watching the BBC interview with Professor Robert E Kelly – memorable not for his wisdom on political struggles in South Korea, but for his kids gate-crashing his study and his wife’s sheer panic in dragging them out of the room?  There’s been lots of reaction to the BBC interview, but what I found encouraging was the acceptance that this was a normal family trying to balance work and family life. A minor oversight in forgetting to lock the home office door caused a global reaction that went viral simply because it was genuinely hilarious and people realised how they could so easily end up in a similar situation.

That did get me thinking – what if I were more relaxed about my worlds colliding? What if I admitted that the reason I needed a longer lunch break was because I hadn’t appreciated that black leggings were required for a street dance exam, I’d missed the Amazon Prime cut-off, and my efforts with a marker pen on a pair of navy leggings were woefully inadequate? Or that I was worrying whether anyone would be bothered that the birthday presents my kids had delivered to their friends that morning are decked in Christmas wrapping paper? Rather than my benign out-of-office message, how about going a bit closer to the truth:

“Today I am a medieval wench at Year 1 Castle Day. The limited communication means of the era, coupled with the restrictions on the use of mobile technology on school premises, means that unless you resend via mounted herald or carrier pigeon, you are unlikely to hear back from me until tomorrow.”

Satisfying though that may be, I think I’d better stick with Stars in their Eyes (and check the lock on the study door).

Caroline is a senior associate at a large City law firm, and mum to a 6-year-old Disney princess and a 4-year-old Superhero.