Esther’s blog: Pushing the boundaries at Bond Street

I’ve been thinking about personal values recently, and how they contribute to people making sense of their lives.  A bit fundamental to deal with in a short blog, but here are a few somewhat connected things that popped into my head recently when the tube stopped between Green Park and Bond Street, and I was squashed in a corner with someone’s back in my face.  I hope you don’t mind my sharing them with you.

When the tube first stopped:  It is often said that we are happiest in our working lives when the work we do is consonant with our personal values.  As we get caught up in the imperatives of relationships, mortgages, children, how easy is it to start to flex our personal values at work to progress our job, or not notice we are pushing others too far?  Of course, I’m not suggesting this readership has a particular need to consider this issue, but rather that the more we are time-poor and tired, as I know is the case with many of us WorkLife Central, the more we can feel we have lost, and can sometimes actually lose sight of the fundamentals.

The stage play Enron showed this compellingly in my recollection, which may not be entirely accurate but serves to make the point.  The anti-hero’s sense of validation was addictively linked to the ups and downs of the share price of Enron, which glittered in red digits above the stage throughout the play; he would do anything to increase the number, in order to feed his sense of self worth in his eyes and in the eyes of his family. As a consequence, so the play posits, the seeds of the destruction of not just Enron but the entire financial system were sewn, with the snap of a cigarette lighter, the click of a computer, the glint of a red eye in the basement, creating an early example of a CDO. This pressure to perform come what may is an extreme example of what many of us, however principled, face every day in the office, and we often tolerate dissonance at work in order to support our home life.

The Driver announces a signal failure; we settle in for an indeterminate wait.  How might we find some relief from our own pressure points?  We all know of the term visualization. Athletes use this technique to imagine perfect sporting performance.  Apparently, physiologically the brain cannot distinguish between real and imagined activity, so some schools of coaching advise that thoughts and images you repeatedly focus on have a remarkable way of becoming your reality.  With due respect to the research behind these claims, aiming for our dreams works for some, but needs to be tempered with reality for others:  for example, however much I visualize playing the piano like Rachmaninoff, I will never do so, even if I practice ten hours a day—I’m simply not intellectually and physiologically capable of it.

The tube jolts into action, and we are off. People often talk about wanting to find the ‘right’ next step.  Sometimes they work out what this is on their own, but talking can help, with a friend, family or sometimes with a career coach.  One coaching client of mine told me her goal for her session was to find out how to go about buying a house (she knew I had a legal background), another told me she wanted coaching to ensure she found a new job.  I had to disappoint both of them superficially whilst aiming to assist them find the means within themselves to achieve what they were aiming for.  This was only responsible, because I could not know what would be most authentic for them in their circumstances.

As the saying goes, ‘How do we know what a fish thinks?’ Effective coaching (either formally or through friends and family) is in some ways like effective parenting.  It helps the individual have confidence in their own career choices, and clarity of thought about how to achieve what is realistically possible and feels reasonably right.

Emerging into the sunlight outside Bond Street.  We are all pushed to be productive, and to be seen to be productive.  Sometimes we just need down time, whether hanging on a strap in the tube, or with our feet up on our desk, looking out of the window at a passing cloud, or at home in the garden.  We might be at our most productive in these moments.

Have a good day, and may your journey to work provoke thoughts, even if it is not a smooth one!

Esther is a member of the WorkLife Central Network Committee and runs the WorkLife Central mentoring scheme. She trained and first made her living as a musician and then worked for over two decades in the City, becoming a partner in her law firm. She now combines legal consultancy, executive coaching, performing the piano, teaching and two non-executive Board positions in what seems to have turned into a third, portfolio career.