Ellen's blog: So far so good

You may remember from one of my previous blogs that my husband came up with the idea of us having an au pair and compiled regular shortlists of suitable candidates.

Well we eventually settled on a lovely French girl we found though a website that actually offers a service for matching employers with prospective employees. We interviewed her on Skype (being careful to place the computer at the best possible angle to showcase the garden since it was a sunny day and my husband had cut the grass especially for the call). By the end of this chat, during which both children misbehaved and gave her an idea what she might be up against, we were both clear that we wanted to offer her the job.

Eventually (not immediately) she said yes, so we did lots of reading about how employers of au pairs should integrate their young employees into family life. Most of the things we read said that we should treat her like a daughter, and although I am (just) old enough to be her mother, I don’t really know how to be a parent of a young adult. So the approach we have taken is to include her in all our family activities, but to give her a choice of whether or not she wants to participate.

And so far so good! The only downside I see to date of having her with us all the time is that it’s really difficult to have an argument. I didn’t realise how many times my husband and I remonstrate with each other, but I get the impression that he rather enjoys knowing I won’t tell him off in front of her.

I have heard plenty of cautionary tales about au pair relationships not working out very well, therefore I am considering myself very lucky that ours is so tolerant of my wayward kids and husband. She does the childrens’ washing and ironing (they have never looked so smart – she even irons the PANTS)! The main benefit for me is in the morning when she does the school run and therefore takes responsibility for reducing delays as a result of the children playing-up. And when I have to work later than expected, the fact that there is no pressure to race back to relieve a babysitter is a huge comfort.

To anyone considering taking on an au pair – in my (admittedly limited) experience, I would recommend giving it a try and absolutely make them part of your family.

Ellen has two boys aged 5 and 3 who are both at school (although the youngest is in the school’s nursery). She recently joined a brokerage firm in the City following a 6-month career break which marked the end of her involvement with the banking world, after 15 years. She has an au pair to help out at home.