Rosie's blog: Making the most of the moments

There is something very natural about wanting to connect with other similar people. Look at the popularity of this forum! We are reminded daily of our networks, which seem to have a life bigger than we could have imagined possible ten years ago. In a work context we are obliged to have certain levels of “linkedin-ness” and the use of the internet over the social and work spheres can consume hours if not days. It can distract on weekends, days off and holidays; few parents can leave their facebook profiles for long. True, it is useful and entertaining, but it can be spurious and malevolent too.

As a parent I am also lucky enough to have my own (albeit much smaller) network. It’s based on human interactions and I learn from it and am amused by it too. As “controller” (think Sheryl Sandberg, on a much smaller scale) I try to reduce the malevolent and spurious or even downright obstinate elements to a minimum and since the network is pretty small, its intimacy (and of course the fact that the other members are indeed my two growing, cheerful sons) means that it’s a really beneficial place for the members, especially when we are lucky enough to be enjoying a networking event (eg family Sunday lunch).

The micro-network links to a social network of parents, siblings, friends, nannies, gardeners, cleaners, miracle workers in all walks of life without whom the daily objective of carrying out a busy job and being a single parent would be impossible. One can never thank them enough. They may not be aware but they allow me to keep the show on the road, as it were, maintaining the micro-network.

It can be a challenge to devote the attention to the micro network when the macro network (whether on- or off-line) forces us to engage. And it’s true that sometimes we need to be allowed to be “off” from either, or both. There are common qualities in both networks and enjoying the moments in each and devoting energy where it’s needed, if we can get the balance right, gives fantastic insight and strength. Also, the support of networks can be crucial. The parenting online forums are often a source of comfort in the exhausted small hours of new parenthood; our work forums are brilliant to promote excellence in the workplace and champion career successes and above all our families are there before and after the accolades have died down, unconditionally.

Rosie is a partner in a City law firm with two sons aged 8 and 9. She is a single parent and works at her office in the City and at home.