Rosie's blog: Having it all

The way of a working parent can feel like a tightrope walk. As we achieve a sense of equilibrium, another factor is added to our ever-changing list of items to juggle. The idea is peddled that the challenge is to achieve this without “failing” our families or our employers or ourselves. In such a way we can have it all!

This must be a myth, not only because this fear of failure induces guilt (which drains our ability to be the best we can be). Time and time again I wonder if my clients have an inkling how my children’s readiness for school could transcend many levels of rational adult behavior. Would they worry what could happen in the meeting room? Yet it never does. I never have to ask them to make sure their pencils are sharp or if they have got their shoes on, or bribe them with treats and as a counterpoint the children don’t (anymore, at least) make me have late nights, hours on the phone, and so on.

The existence of these contrasts is another thing we choose to manage as part of a varied and stimulating existence. It is unlikely ever to be “perfect”, (managing 80% is achievable) but it is interesting. Families, supportive networks, good friendships and good employers all help to achieve more within the framework.

We are fortunate that our choices are still there, even when one part of the equation is difficult, troublesome or just not willing to do its homework.

Rosie is a partner in a City law firm with two sons aged 8 and 9. She is a single parent and works at her office in the City and at home.