Ellen's blog: Job search - staying mindful of mindfulness

Having left my job in November and taken a 2-month “holiday”, I recently began a job search, between the hours of 9am and 2pm in order to accommodate my new responsibilities of getting my children to and from school/nursery. This approach does not always work and there have been occasions where I have needed to take phone calls in the presence of the children. Whilst my 5-year old is easily distracted with an ipad, my 2-year-old generally shouts things like “WHO’S DAT”? or “I NEED A POO” (yes, that did happen) while I am creating a first impression on someone who could be crucial to securing my future employment, and therefore  paying the childrens’ future living expenses.

If you work in the City, you cannot fail to have heard of mindfulness, the technique of remaining in the moment, paying attention to your surroundings and not allowing your mind to wander to other, more stressful places. It has never been more relevant than during my current job search; it is very easy for the mind to wander

For example recruiters call to “discuss my situation” and are confident that they will have a role to suit me. Positive thoughts

I discover I already submitted my CV to them in response to an ad on LinkedIn but obviously didn’t even make the shortlist. Negative thoughts

A recruiter calls to discuss my application for a role submitted via LinkedIn (positive thoughts) but it turns out he thought I was more senior in my last role, and therefore changes his mind on my suitability (negative thoughts)

I realise I recognise his voice because that recruiter used to call me in a previous role, when I was hiring. On those occasions he could not have been more polite (actually on reflection he was obsequious and annoying), now he doesn’t even give me the time of day. NEGATIVE AND VERY CROSS THOUGHTS!

I talk to a friend who is experiencing crisis-level stress at work (ashamed thoughts about the negative thoughts about the trivial job search. Followed by negative thoughts about how unfair life can be. Followed by panicked thoughts that I might re-join the workforce and end up like her). You get the idea.

Now that I am spending 1:1 time with my kids after school, I need to be giving them my full attention (rather than thinking about who has been rude to me today) so I have been practicing Mindfullness. The basic premise is that when you experience your mind wandering, you bring it back to what you are doing right now, and concentrate on “being present”. I’m not finding it terribly easy, but I am certainly convinced it is worth trying. Working parents have a limited amount of time with their children, so spending it in a state of being physically present but emotionally disconnected is such a waste.

Mindfulness can be much easier said than done, but every time I see the skinny, glamorous non-working mothers in the gym, and I successfully curb my jealous thoughts, it’s a small victory!

Until recently Ellen worked for a well-known investment bank in the City. She began her career at KPMG, before moving on to Barclays, HSBC and Aviva before joining her most recent employer almost three years ago.  She has two children aged three and one.