James's blog: I really like Dolly's blog

I really enjoyed reading Dolly's blog last week.  It made me realise just how little I know about my wife's work and home routine and how she feels about it.  And it also made me wonder how many other Citymothers struggle with the same routine of working later and later at home as the expected quid pro quo for a little bit of flexibility towards a work/life balance.

I thought, therefore, that I would share what my work/life balance entails in the hope of sparking some debate amongst other Cityfathers as to whether or not this pattern is replicated across the City and what (if anything) might be done to alleviate the constant struggle for that elusive balance.

On Sunday evenings I give my daughter her bath, read her a few stories while she drinks her night-time milk, and hug her for far longer than she would probably like me to.  It leaves a bittersweet feeling; on the one hand it is one of the happiest moments of my week, on the other hand it is heart-wrenching knowing that I am unlikely to spend any quality time with her again until Friday.

On Mondays and Tuesdays I see my daughter for about 20 minutes in the morning before I head off to work - enough time for my wife to dive in the shower and ready herself for a day looking after the little one.  On Wednesdays and Thursdays my involvement increases marginally.  I finish getting my daughter ready for nursery once my wife has left for work and then do the nursery drop off; another heart-breaking moment as I usually have to leave my daughter in tears (hers, not mine, although I fear it's only a matter of time before I succumb and embarrass myself in front of the nursery staff).

Friday is "Daddy Day".  I'm lucky enough that my employer allows me to work a four-day week.  The working arrangement is not perfect (I expect all interested parties would admit that), but it does allow us to keep our daughter out of nursery for an extra day each week and enables me to spend some quality time with her.  I generally take her to a "mother" and toddler class in the morning and then spend the afternoon either at the park or playing with her at home (she tends to be tired after a couple of days at nursery so I try to keep it fairly low-key).

Saturdays and Sundays pass in a bit of a blur as my wife and I try to get through the household chores, catch up with any work commitments that have spilled over from the week, do a (tiny) bit of exercise and reconnect with family and friends, all the while trying to spend as much time with our daughter as possible.  Sunday evening arrives again and I'll reflect on how much I've seen my daughter during the week.  I'm luckier than many to spend Fridays with her, but it never seems like enough, and I'm constantly wondering what further changes could be made to keep doing a job I enjoy without having to sacrifice seeing my daughter for more than half the week. I have some thoughts, which I will share next time, but would be interested to hear other perspectives.

James is in his early 30s and father to a beautiful one year old girl.  He works in the legal profession but will be taking a sabbatical when his wife returns to work