Anthony's blog: Using some flex

"Our household is 12 months into an experiment which took us 2 years (or more) to undertake. Let's call it "The career break" (because that's what it is). I wanted to let you know how it's going.

For many organisations, the career break looks like the last word in flexible working arrangements. In my wife's organisation the opportunity exists to take up to 3 years "out" from your career‎. In many respects it's a great option for a growing family where contact with the children (or lack of it) coupled with the desire to really understand and address their changing needs and be part of their ongoing development are ever more pressing concerns. But with choice comes apprehension. Is now the right time? For her, for the kids, for the firm? Will the door at work really stay open? What will her job look like when she goes back, if she goes back? A nice problem to have, some may argue - and I don't disagree.

While the fact of the kids edging ever closer to secondary  school age meant the question of "do we/don't we take the plunge" had been on our minds for a good while, the answer to the "right time" question was handed to us ‎on a plate (or more precisely with a packet of Kleenex) when our beloved nanny announced her retirement after 7 years of helping raise our brood. With the taillights of her car fading from our drive, we settled the children to bed with cuddles and reassurance that it would all be ok and my thoughts turned to practicalities. I asked my wife if she knew which were currently the best local agencies to help find a replacement. I was a little taken aback when she said, almost without missing a beat, that she would make enquiries about a career break at work. The nanny's decision had galvanised her thinking that it was "time" for a big change; to focus on just one thing (which of course really means many things), but principally on being able physically and mentally to spend more time with our children, to help our daughter through a difficult coming year of school choices, exams and of course to try and help work out how to navigate the turbulent waters of pre-teen hormones without smashing into the rocks. We are also looking down the barrel of getting my son to a similar place in the next 24 months, so in many respects the timing was right (or at least could have been a lot worse). Much discussion followed around practicalities, finances, was this the end of her rewarding career, what if she didn't like being at home 24/7?

Work was encouraging and accommodating, but ultimately non-committal in terms of prospects. In our minds, home needs out-weighed discussions around future trajectory, though having elected to take a two year break and being, as we now are, 12 months into the experience, thoughts will, in the not too distant future, return to that particular piece in the jigsaw.

While it has not been without initial wobbles and readjustment both for my wife, the children, friends and family (it's amazing how many people assume that taking up residence full time at home with two kids under 12 means days spent in the gym and lunching "with the girls" rather than stuck in school traffic, ever present on a cold touchline or being volunteered to run catering at the school fireworks display), the results at the end of the first 12 months are heartening. We have assisted my daughter into the school of her choice and the kids are loving having mummy around at home and being involved in their day to day activities. My wife has achieved home renovation that we have been talking about for ages, but had not quite managed to find the time to organise, and there is much less of a debate in our house around whose schedule has the most flex in it this week to be able to deal with the unexpected. The fact of her being "away" from work has given the household a bit of breathing space which I'm not sure we had appreciated we needed (or at least not to the degree we've felt) and has also reaffirmed for my wife her sense that she will, in the fullness of time, want to return and reengage with the "other" world of professional endeavour. Quite what that will look like (same employer? Same job? Something different?) is an open question for us presently. I'll keep you posted..."

Anthony is married with 2 children and is a partner in a magic circle law firm.