Tom's blog: Milestones...
This month is an important milestone in our house. When our first child turned two, we had our second. When our second child turned two, we had our third. When our third child turns two next week, we will not be having a fourth. We decided some time ago that we would definitely not be having any more children.
At least, I thought that was what we had decided. Now I'm not so sure, because my wife is getting broody, which isn't helped by her friend just having given birth to a beautiful baby girl.
At least guys don't get broody, right? Wrong. Our youngest, my only daughter, seems so grown up all of a sudden and I can't help but feel a sense of regret that I'll never again relive all of those special 'first moments' (first smile, first steps, first "love you Daddy").
So we're as broody as each other and we're going round in circles. Here's about six months' of debate condensed into one (slightly manic) abridged conversation:
"I want another baby."
"Me too! That's great! I'll get the baby name book down out of the loft."
"No, hang on, we're too old."
"Don't be daft. Plenty of people don't even start having kids until our age. But can we afford another one?"
"Yes, if we shop in Asda instead of Waitrose. I'd be more worried about your hours."
"True. I hardly get any sleep as it is – a baby might finish me off. Maybe I could drop to a 4 day week."
"Then we definitely wouldn't have enough money, Asda or no Asda".
"You could go back to work and I could stay at home. The new shared paternity rights kick in next year. I know I can do it: I've read a Cityfathers blog by a guy who did it"
"Except I'm a teacher and I'd be lucky to earn half your salary. What about efficiency savings? We've got a car with 7 seats and 2 of them are empty. They say it's bad for the environment to drive around with the car half empty."
"They mean people should share lifts, not procreate to fill the boot with offspring."
"Hang on! What am I thinking?? Of course we can't have another: Twins run in my family. Can you imagine?!"
Almost every conversation on this topic ends the same way. One of us pauses and says we should be grateful for the three happy, healthy children we already have. Then the other one smiles and nods wisely. Maybe we should listen to our own advice.
So, that's it. No more babies in our house. Probably.....
Tom is a senior associate in a magic circle law firm. He is married with three children, and works fulltime with one day per week spent working at home.
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